Family / Memories

The Wise Lessons of Lester and Effie

photo by F. Tronchin, FCC

For the record, those aren’t my actual grandparents in the picture. They are someone’s grandparents though. Someone cool, obviously.

In honor of Grandparents Day this Sunday, I’d like to take a moment to remember my Pawpaw and Mawmaw… and in doing so, share the pearls of wisdom I gained in their presence.

1.       All that glitters is not gold.

It’s true, Pawpaw. All that stuff you had us dig out of the dumpster or the county dump/landfill when we were kids wasn’t worth the risk of tetanus or bacterial infections. Sometimes one man’s trash is just another man’s junk.

2.       Don’t judge a book by its cover.

The sign read “Liquor Store,” Mawmaw said it was the “medicine store.” You say tomayto, I say tomahto.

3.       Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

Especially if we are all drinking water out of the same Mason jar on the front seat of the car. For the record, Pawpaw’s chewing tobacco and Mawmaw’s snuff didn’t diminish the rust flavor from the metal lid.

4.       Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I’m pretty sure Pawpaw thought he saw hell flash before him as that flashlight came down on his head, courtesy of my sweet Mawmaw. Or maybe it was the red glow from the ambulance lights. Either way, I’m certain he repented after his not-so-near-death experience.

5.       Misery loves company.

I can think of no other reason why my heavily intoxicated Mawmaw would wedge herself between me and my sister on the porch swing and unload her marital issues. Boundaries, Mawmaw. Boundaries.

I appreciate the wisdom, but sometimes ignorance really IS bliss.

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